BOSTON FANS WHO 'CAN NOW
DIE HAPPY,' ALL DIE
Boston,
MA — Tens of thousands of Bostonians who said they
can now die happy after their beloved Red Sox won their
first World Series since 1918, all suddenly died Wednesday.
People awoke Thursday to find lifeless sports fans littered
throughout Boston and greater Massachusetts. Some had smiles
on their faces, but most had looks of intense pain and surprise,
sources said.
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THE [REAL]
MARTHA STEWART PRISON DIARY
Exclusive
to BFA!
Dear Friends,
I have been told that more than
2.5 million of you have visited my website since last Friday
when I self-surrendered in the pre-dawn darkness to F.P.C.
(Federal Prison Camp) Alderson in Alderson, West Virginia.
I am touched by this outpouring of support.
I'll be making postings now and
then, but thank you for the concern and good wishes expressed
in the thousands of emails you have sent. Your goodwill
and best wishes will get me through this next chapter in
my life.
Sincerely,
Read
the Diary»
EDITOR'S RANT
by Scott Howard-Leva,
Editor in Chief
We
at BFA have purposely avoided backing a Presidential candidate
thus far because we didn't want to throw the whole field
out of whack. As many of you know, we've gotten in trouble
before when we entered
the political arena. It just so happens we've been wooed
by both candidates. By "wooed," I mean something
filthy and depraved,
which I can't repeat here. Some people would suggest that
if you're stupid
and ignorant
of the issues, you
shouldn't vote at all. If you're really not sure what
to do, then I might suggest a new
political party.
**We
are putting the call out [again] for writers, columnists,
reviewers and most importantly, flash animators. Many of
you have sent emails in the past and, well, I threw them
in the trash because that's the kind of asshole I was. But
I've had a change of heart because of a recent near death
experience which made me both more likable and more patient
with children and shitty, amateurish writers. If you think
you got what it takes, we're hiring, so
send us a note.
Tons
of t-shirts in the BFA store
Tell
a friend about Bob!
Robin
Williams wearing OUR 
The
Craptastic Movie Reviewer
