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TEL AVIV— An embarrassed Israel admitted for
the first time Wednesday, it had become impregnated after
a failed effort at early withdrawal from the West Bank.
The disclosure came after repeated questions pertaining to
the swelling size of the Israeli occupation in recent weeks.
Finally, there were no more excuses.
"It's true, we are pregnant," said newly appointed
Foreign Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. "We would like to
first apologize to the United States and Great Britain, who
have warned us repeatedly that something like this could happen.
In retrospect, we should have listened."
According to reports, Israel had been coerced into private
talks with the Palestinians by a mutual third party nation,
and after some initial diplomacy, one thing led to another
and they ended up in a full heated accord.
During a particularly intense weekend at Camp David, Israel
threw caution to the wind and grudglingly agreed to the Palestinian
request for an early withdrawal from the West Bank—instead
of following the much safer but less intense Mitchell Plan,
which provides for Israel to protect herself from foreign
invasions despite the repeated conflicts that arise when taking
that stance.
"The Palestinians were very persuasive," Netanyahu
said. "They told us if there was an early pullout, it
would be better for both of us. Now I realize they were just
thinking of themselves and couldn't care less about the consequences
to Israel."
"Despite the circumstances, we are thankful Israel
has decided not to terminate the pregnancy," said United
Nations Secretary General Kofi Annan. "At this point
there needs to be a building of trust before any new talks
are scheduled."
Added Annan. "We just want to do what's best for little
Shlomo Muhammed, and I think the rest will itself work out."
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