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BAGHDAD - While France and Germany
have decried a U.S. imposed ban bids on lucrative Iraqi rebuilding
contracts except to coalition counties and those supporting
the war in Iraq, Church & Dwight, Inc. the makers of the
Nair line of hair removal products saw their stock triple
just hours after they were awarded the exclusive contract.
Competition was tense among Israeli-owned Mepro, the makers
of the "Epilady" and the popular Australian product
Nad's, an all natural waxing product featured on late night
infommercials.
"We are just so excited about what this means to not
just Iraqi women, but also their husbands, their boyfriends
and most importantly, our American stockholders," Church
& Dwight CEO Howard Malley said. "While I feel bad
for those excluded from the bidding, I'm buying a Gulfstream
jet tomorrow so I don't really care that much."
Russia and France had the most to lose by the announcement,
with billions spent yearly on female hair removal products
and very few untapped markets left in the world.
"If the French spent a little less time selling overpriced
perfume and arms to our enemies and a little more time worrying
about bikini lines, maybe things would be different,"
Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz said Friday. "Besides,
hair removal products only work if you actually bathe beforehand."
As a show of goodwill, Wolfowitz offered France, Germany
and Russia the semi-lucrative Iraqi hottub and aboveground
swimming pool rebuilding market.
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U.S.
manufacturers of 'Nair' beat out Israeli-owned Epilady for
the lucrative Iraqi hair removal business.
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