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BAGHDAD - While France and Germany have decried a U.S. imposed ban bids on lucrative Iraqi rebuilding contracts except to coalition counties and those supporting the war in Iraq, Church & Dwight, Inc. the makers of the Nair line of hair removal products saw their stock triple just hours after they were awarded the exclusive contract.

Competition was tense among Israeli-owned Mepro, the makers of the "Epilady" and the popular Australian product Nad's, an all natural waxing product featured on late night infommercials.

"We are just so excited about what this means to not just Iraqi women, but also their husbands, their boyfriends and most importantly, our American stockholders," Church & Dwight CEO Howard Malley said. "While I feel bad for those excluded from the bidding, I'm buying a Gulfstream jet tomorrow so I don't really care that much."

Russia and France had the most to lose by the announcement, with billions spent yearly on female hair removal products and very few untapped markets left in the world.

"If the French spent a little less time selling overpriced perfume and arms to our enemies and a little more time worrying about bikini lines, maybe things would be different," Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz said Friday. "Besides, hair removal products only work if you actually bathe beforehand."

As a show of goodwill, Wolfowitz offered France, Germany and Russia the semi-lucrative Iraqi hottub and aboveground swimming pool rebuilding market.


 

U.S. manufacturers of 'Nair' beat out Israeli-owned Epilady for the lucrative Iraqi hair removal business.


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