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Jerusalem - As a good faith effort to ease tensions
in the occupied areas and jumpstart the roadmap to peace,
Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon signed into law Wednesday
a measure that would offer "medicinal ecstasy" to
Palestinian youth throughout the West Bank and Gaza Strip
at prices well below street value.
"We obviously do not condone the use of dangerous psychotropic
drugs, but we have come to the conclusion that Ecstasy is
not only harmless but would greatly improve the quality of
life of the long suffering Palestinians," Sharon said.
"I think that once they try it, they will see all the
wonderful medicinal benefits it has to offer oppressed people
of all ages."
Beginning in February, the Israeli Drug administration will
provide free samples of the popular youth-oriented drug at
all roadblocks coming into and out of Israel. The larger refugee
camps will each be allotted five large truckfulls, until they
can begin producing their own ecstasy with chemicals and equipment
provided by the Israeli Defense Ministry.
"If this drug does half as well as last year's 'burning
hatred pill,' we'll be set through the next millennium,"
said Maria Noland, spokesperson for pharmaceutical company
Pfizer, one of several international companies bidding on
the billion dollar contract.
Not surprisingly, news of the donation and ease of restriction
was met with skepticism by Palestinian negotiators who were
not familiar with the drug or its effects.
"We thank the Israeli government for this medicine,"
Chief Palestinian negotiator Saeb Erakat said while demonstrating
to several onlookers that the small pills were not filled
with deadly poison. "But we still need to build trust
and an honest and open commitment to the creation of a Palestinian
state... but please, don't get me wrong, we totally appreciate
this.
Hamas leader Alhed al-Hasson agreed. "I know those damn
Jews are trying. It was really super sweet of them to do that
for us."
Added Erakat, "Man, I really love you guys. You guys
are the best. Take off those masks and give old Uncle Saeb
a kiss."
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