BOB
NOW 'THIS CLOSE' TO QUITTING WEBSITE, HIRING LAWYER COUSIN
From:bob@xxxxxx.com
Date:Wed, 19 Jan 04 22:39:09
To:editor@bobfromaccounting.com
Subject: I will sue you
Dear Bastard Editors,
Hi. It's Bob. I'm getting real tired of
this crap. I am this close to calling up my lawyer cousin
and suing your punk asses for trespassing and invasion of
privacy. First, you need to take my private
journal off the internet immediately. Second,
you or your staffers are not allowed in my apartment EVER.
My building manager has now been instructed not to give
a key to anyone claiming to be my private Pilates instructor
or someone delivering my emergency syphilis medication.
That was NOT funny asswipe. That's almost as funny as last
year's peanut butter and fire ants. Ha Ha. That was so funny
I forgot to laugh. You better quit it NOW!
Bob (from Accounting)
P.S. The Christmas present was really funny
too, but they don't make gift certificates for syphilis
medication. Asswipe!
"Free
Martha" T-Shirts in the BFA Store!
GUIDE:
HOW TO TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT EXPOSED BREASTS, NIPPLE SHIELDS
BFA
HQ —
A child's first experience viewing exposed breasts and nipple
shields on national television is sure to provoke a great
deal of curiosity and many questions. For some parents it
may be a cause for concern, but it doesn't have to be -- that
is, if you are prepared. Therefore, the editors of BFA have
put together a comprehensive guide on how to talk to your
kids about exposed breasts, public relations debacles, and
the mysterious world of decorative nipple ornaments. READ
THE GUIDE»
Editor's
Note :
BFA updates will now be posted on Fridays, with new columns
and features appearing on Wednesdays. We appreciate your
patience. Also, we have completely overhauled our store
and added loads of great new t-shirts, with many more on
the way. Patronizing our store and our advertisers is one
way you can help defray our massive bandwidth costs so we
can continue to bring you the funny. Thanks, SHL
BFA
GALLERY OF CHILDREN'S BOOKS VOL.2
Check
out our virtual museum of classic children's literature,
with a BFA twist.
View
the Gallery»
Don't
forget Vol. 1
2003 ETHNIC CLEANSING
AWARDS!
BFA's 2nd Annual Ethnic Cleansing Awards
ranks the top 25 people most in need of ethnic cleansing.
Bob
from Accounting is proud to present our list of the worst
and most annoying of 2003. If we left people out, we apologize.
The rankings were compiled from a strict scientific sample
based the opinions of our embittered and underpaid staffers.
While we, at BFA, feel ethnic cleansing is generally a bad
thing, there are obvious (and less obvious) exceptions.
READ
THE RESULTS»
Slightly
Promiscuous Television Analysis
What
I Learned at the Movies
