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Vatican City - The stress begins just before Christmas
and then occurs again right before birthdays, laments Archbishop
Stanslaw Dziwisz, longtime confident of Pope John Paul II.
People are scrambling. The lines at the giftstores wrap around
the block. Local artisans work doubletime on tiny Jesus statues
made from soap. What do you buy the guy who has everything?
"I was all set to buy him an IPod but then found out
that he still prefers vinyl," Dziwisz said. "He's
kind of traditional that way. Plus, all the other guys got
him the same thing and I really wanted my gift to be special."
The simplest gift is often the best one for someone who frowns
on personal possessions and flashes of wealth.
"Not the Pope," Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi
admits. "I tried that last year with a collage of children's
nativity drawings. He threw them back in my face and told
me he wanted a comfy leather chair with secret compartments
in the armrests. That, or a Playstation II. Ungrateful bastard."
This year, George W. Bush presented the Pope with a tiny
statuette of Mary. The Pope smiled politely and tossed it
in a room with more than 35,000 other tiny Mary statuettes.
Added Dziwisz, "He's an old man. He's tired of Mary.
Wouldn't you be? I sure am."
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