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NEW YORK — Robert C. Atkins, M.D., author of the immensely popular "Atkins' Diet," admitted at a press conference Thursday the famous diet really started out as a joke.

"Let's face it, eating huge amounts of meats and cheeses to lose weight doesn't make a lot of sense in light of all the current medical evidence," Atkins said. "No, I have to admit, I first thought of it as a sort of prank against a tubby patient who wouldn't pay his bill."

The diet, which espouses high meat and protein intake accompanied by a severe reduction in carbohydrates, has helped millions obtain substantial weight loss. Critics argue the diet puts people at risk.

Atkins used to feel the same way. "I honestly thought it would put people at risk too. In fact, I thought that first patient would easily gain another 100 pounds."

Instead, and much to his surprise, the obese patient had lost almost 75 pounds. Atkins realized he was onto something and immediately bought a houseboat with the expectation of riches beyond his wildest dreams.

"I couldn't believe it when he first prescribed the diet," former patient Peter Flint said. "I thought any diet that included all the sausage I wanted was a true miracle."

Flint also thought it was a miracle when he could look down and easily see both his feet and his penis -- both of which were thought to be lost forever.

"I don't care if the doctor really is an evil bastard," Flint said. "I can see my penis, for God's sake. I can't thank the man enough."

 

 

Above: "Dr. Atkins might be an evil bastard, but thanks to his diet, I can now see my penis."

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