|
"Breaking
News and Wind Since 1969"
|
|||
 |
|
||
|
|
|||
|
|
|||
|
PSYCHICS CLAIM JACKO'S NASAL COLLAPSE IS OMEN OF WORLD WAR 
Washington, D.C. —
According to well known spoon bender and professional psychic Uri
Geller, Michael Jackson's recent nasal disintegration is not an effect
of multiple plastic surgeries, but is a very serious omen that we
are headed for a prolonged global thermonuclear war. Geller, a close
friend of Jackson's, together with group of famous psychics and celebrities,
headed to Washington to explain the undeniable connection between
the King of Pop's face and escalating conflicts from Iraq to North
Korea to Chechnya and East Timor, as well as a half dozen civil wars
in Africa. More»
GOD
TESTS POSITIVE FOR ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER
BFA STAFF CELEBRATES ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY, NEW LOAN FROM PARENTS
See
where it all started, just one year ago... by Bob (from Accounting) Bob
Unearthed!
BFA
Reporter Hugs Winona Ryder! . |
|
Heaven-
God cites exhaustion,
poor time management skills and a recent diagnosis of Attention
Deficit Disorder for his continued inability to create impressive
miracles and save innocent lives from utter doom. In particular,
the Creator blames the advent of the Super Lotto Jackpot and millions
of new prayers every weekend for sending him over the edge. He will
now reduce his workload to a new five day schedule.
Los
Angeles, CA -The BFA staff
has reason to celebrate. After one year of offending the masses,
pandering to quasi-celebs, and embarrassing their loved ones, they
have managed to secure yet another loan from their parents. This
new loan, as opposed to the other one(s) is sure to be paid off
in a timely manner this time because "money doesn't grow on
trees." They now realize that "it's time to grow up -
you're nearly 30!" and they certainly don't want to "become
a bum like [your] Uncle Tim." They are additionally aware that
"this loan better be paid back. I mean it. I'm not kidding
around. I want to see your checkbook. Are you balancing your checkbook?
Is this what I sent you to college for?" Staff members, however,
will continue to be paid with T-shirts
2002
ETHNIC | ©2002 Bob From Accounting/Orange Planet Entertainment - All rights reserved. So don't steal -- that means you too, Mr. Steven Spielberg. |