CAPTURED
TERRORIST 'SICK AND TIRED' OF RON JEREMY COMPARISONS
Islamabad—Captured
al-Qaeda leader Khalid Shaikh Mohammed broke his silence Tuesday
after U.S.
and Pakistani officials made
offhand remarks comparing the terrorist to famed porn star
Ron Jeremy during a 12 hour interrogation. "He just suddenly
lost it," Special Ops Lt. Col Henry Gibson said. "This
apparently was a sore subject. We hit a nerve." Read
More»
NIGERIA THANKS U.S. INTERNET DONORS FOR NEW GOLD PAVED STREETS
Abuja, Nigeria
— During a festive ribbon cutting ceremony Tuesday,
Mr Mbeki F. Grote an Executive Accountant with the Dept. of
Finance of Mineral Resources and Energy, took the time to thank
generous American donors for helping to disperse bank account
payments in excess of Twenty One Million, Five Hundred Thousand
US Dollars ($21,500,000) in a most discreet manner, thus allowing
them to build schools, equip hospitals and build a shiny new
gold paved road through the center of town. Read
More»
3.5.03 — I'd
like to give a big fat BFA welcome to new staff writers Michael
Niederman and Anne-Marie Pasquinelli. Michael will doing movie
reviews while Anne-Marie will be ranting weekly on the television
industry exclusively for the BFA pages. Both are great writers
and insist they won't become corrupted no matter how many
movie premieres or Hollywood parties they are invited to.
Pasquinelli, in particular, has promised that her mob connections
will in no way affect her editorials. Speaking of broken kneecaps,
we are still looking for some people to do reality show summaries
for BFA and a new reality TV site we are launching. As if
we didn't have anything better to do with our time. Please
email the editor.
That's me. Thanks.
2.26.03—
Lots of news here in Hollywood. BFA is doing fantastic. February
has been the biggest month ever, beating January by more than
40% - and there's still a few days left. That should be great
news for those of you writers out there looking for a huge
audience numbering in the millions. If you're bold enough
to send us a submission
we're still looking to fill several columnist positions so
please check out our jobs page.
Bitter, failed comedy writers get first dibs. Cute single
girls aren't too far behind.
We have lots of new Bob features
on the horizon and once we've secured our new web hosting,
we will be adding video as well. Believe it or not, there
is also a possibility of a future Bob TV show. If you have
ideas or suggestions for a reality-based TV show featuring
our most lovable of accountants, then send
them to me. Finally, due to many requests, we will be
bringing back both the "crappy poetry contest" and
the "photo of the week" sections. So if you have
good stuff, send
them here.
We're almost out of our
second run of BFA
logo t-shirts. This isn't a sales pitch -- well okay it
is -- but it will take time to order more, so get 'em now.
Scooter
Cruel,
Cruel Email From Deep Within the Bowels of Slacker Hell.
Fridays. SHIZZY'S MAILBAG
**New letters! 2.27.03
1970's
Chinese action star, Yu Weng Po (aka Jimmy Wang) offers
advice for losers, substance abusers and flabby, out-of-shape
Americans. Mondays.
Islamabad—Captured
al-Qaeda leader Khalid Shaikh Mohammed broke his silence Tuesday
after U.S.
and Pakistani officials made
offhand remarks comparing the terrorist to famed porn star
Ron Jeremy during a 12 hour interrogation. "He just suddenly
lost it," Special Ops Lt. Col Henry Gibson said. "This
apparently was a sore subject. We hit a nerve." 
Abuja, Nigeria
— During a festive ribbon cutting ceremony Tuesday,
Mr Mbeki F. Grote an Executive Accountant with the Dept. of
Finance of Mineral Resources and Energy, took the time to thank
generous American donors for helping to disperse bank account
payments in excess of Twenty One Million, Five Hundred Thousand
US Dollars ($21,500,000) in a most discreet manner, thus allowing
them to build schools, equip hospitals and build a shiny new
gold paved road through the center of town. 
