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BAGHDAD - Iraq's top Muslim Clerics were outraged by blatant
errors and odd passages found in its new constitution, which
the Iraqi Council signed earlier this month, while U.S. officials
called the mistakes "innocent" and blamed the screwups
on the local Baghdad Kinko's and several minimum wage employees.
"It's unfortunate," said U.S. civilian administrator
Paul Bremer. "Those darn kids. It's laziness, pure and
simple."
The U.S. stood by its assertion that passages calling for
the "complete and unconditional allegiance to the United
States of America and all of its laws..." was simply
a mistake when certain pages of the U.S. Constitution got
jammed in the copier and accidentally appeared later.
"Those Kinko's workers should definitely be reprimanded,"
Bremer said. "I'm not saying they should be executed
or anything, but it's clearly their fault, and not any kind
of underhanded slight of hand by American operatives, who
were only at the store to help clear that nasty paper jam."
While most Iraqis remained suspicious, several handpicked
council members backed the U.S. account of the incident.
"We believe the Americans when they say the inaccuracies
were the fault of Iraqi Kinko's employees slacking off on
the job," said governing council President Mohammed Bahrululum.
"It appears to be an innocent mistake to ban all Muslims
from our country and make it a crime to say bad things about
American President Bush and his Zionist allies."
Other recently discovered errors included more than 50 missing
pages from the document, the wrong color covers and a byline
naming American Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld as the
primary author.
"We paid for velo binders with orange cardstock covers
and we got coil binders with blue covers, Bahrululum said.
"Heads are going to roll for these mistakes."
Public execution of the 4 full-time and 5 part-time Kinko's
employees is set for April 15th, pending a review of the Kinko's
strict guarantee policy and whatever the new Constitution
says.
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