|
San Diego, CA — San Diego State University senior
Lorenzo Campanelli was quick to realize the five bucks he
refused to pitch in for pizza last Thursday would have been
a small price to pay compared to the mental and physical anguish
that followed.
"I don't know what the hell I was thinking," Campanelli,
23, said several days later. "When they asked me if I
wanted to pitch in, I wasn't feeling very hungry and didn't
see the need to spend the money. But later, when the pizza
came, well, I fucking hate those bastards."
The extra-large pepperoni pizza from Papa Johns was paid
for by Campanelli's two roommates after the trio's nightly
smoke session with Tecky, their three-foot, red glass bong,
named after the school mascot.
"After we smoked, I felt like the pizza was taunting
me," Campanelli said. "It felt like the sweet, sweet
oil dripping off the pepperoni was mimicking the tears forming
in my eyes. I swear, I wanted to kill everyone in the room
right then and there for one little taste."
"Look, we always pay for the pizza and L-Dog never chips
in, so screw him," roommate Brad Hubbard said. "I
even ate the crust, which I hate, because that cheap bitch
would've licked the box clean when we left the room."
Campanelli's roommates spoke excessively about how delicious
the pizza was in front of him and several times even offered
him a slice if there was any left after they finished, knowing
full well no slice would be saved. The taunting, along with
Campanelli's sudden and extreme hunger almost destroyed their
friendship.
"He offered to pay for his share after the fact,"
Hubbard said."But ya know, it was just too late. When
he offered us $100 plus his new guitar, I told him to go order
his own pizza, but by that time, everything was closed. I
almost felt bad for the guy."
Campanelli claims to have learned a valuable lesson from his
experience and plans on using the insight gained from the
pizza night to overhaul his entire life.
"I'm totally going to change," Campenelli said.
"I don't care how broke or full I am, I've only got two
more semesters until I get my communications degree and I'm
ordering Papa Johns every single night until I graduate --
just in case."
Sadly, Campanelli was too busy eating his pizza to hear his
roommates' repeated request to pitch in for a late night beer
run. His cries continued to be ignored.
|
|
 
Above:
Lorenzo Campanelli vows to never again miss out on Papa John's
pizza.
SEND THIS ARTICLE TO A FRIEND!
|
|
