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Los Angeles, CA -- Courtney Love just can't win. In
addition to a recent arrest for out-of-control behavior at
a club performance, as well as publicity surrounding her drug
trial, the troubled singer is now dealing with an angry and
resentful vagina, who says it is ready to walk away from the
media spotlight forever.
"Courtney's vagina is very tired," said lawyer
Bruce Kramer. "It obviously needs some time away from
Courtney and all the craziness that surrounds her. It's been
a busy couple of years and it's just exhausted. The effects
are really starting to show."
According to close friends, the "retirement" wasn't
a sudden decision but one that Courtney's vagina has been
thinking about for several months, if not years.
"Courtney's vagina has been through hell and back,"
said talk show host David Letterman after Love made a guest
appearance on "The Late Show." "I don't know
Courtney's vagina well, but I could tell that it wasn't happy.
That was obvious during our interview segment. I wish it the
best of luck."
Fans were saddened to hear the news but are hopeful Courtney
may reconcile with her vagina and consider a reunion tour
sometime in the near future.
"I told Courtney's vagina to quit the business years
ago," said former boyfriend Edward Norton. She just wouldn't
listen. Lately, it just seemed like work for her. I think
this is the best decision for both parties."
"Courtney's vagina appreciates all the support of her
fans and just needs time to relax and not think too much,"
Kramer said. "If she decides to come out of retirement,
her fans will be the first to hear about it."
Critics expect a bitter custody battle over who owns the
rights to the late Kurt Cobain's estate.
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