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AN ARTICLE TO CLEANSE THE PALATE
LINCOLN, NE— Sammy, a black Labrador Retriever
pup approximately three months old, spent several hours frolicking
in his back yard, sniffing, digging, and playing. Sammy appeared
to thoroughly enjoy his wholesome, inoffensive romp.
The day began when Sammy’s "mommy," 27-year-old
Holly Sullivan, let him out into the yard as her husband,
William left for work, but not before patting his puppy’s
head and saying, "Be a good boy, Sammy. That’s a
good boy."
Sammy proceeded to play a nice game of fetch with Holly for
about half an hour. After a short nap in the breezy, sunny
morning air, Sammy barked at some squirrels while Holly baked
bread.
At noon, Mrs. Jefferson, stopped by the Sullivans' to invite
Holly over for a game of bridge later in the evening and then
proceeded to stroke Sammy’s fur and say, "What a
big boy you’re getting to be! You’re getting so
big, aren’t you, Sammy? Aren’t you, Sammy? Yes you
are."
After another short nap, Sammy chewed on a rawhide bone,
played with a group of kittens and chased his own tail. Around
4:30, Sammy jumped and played in a field of dandelions, stopping
twice to chase butterflies. These completely non-sexual activities
rounded out Sammy’s afternoon.
Amazingly, Sammy the puppy did, at no time, make
fun of Arabs , French
people or suicide
bombers, or God forbid, make fun of Baby
Jessica. Sammy never interviewed known terrorists and
their college roommates or ridiculed
Tony Danza or certainly not handicapped
kids because that would just be outright mean. Puppies
and children go together but Sammy was nowhere near the little
bastard who didn't call 911 during an emergency. The puppy
also managed to completely avoid Britney
Spears' boobs or Asian
fetishes caused by Michelle Kwan.
What a great puppy day!
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Above:
A picture of incorruptible purity.
Damn you, puppy... damn you!
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