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UNITED NATIONS - The U.N. Security Council formally endorsed
on Wednesday a resolution calling on world leaders to lose
at least 15 pounds by summertime adding that Swedish Envoy,
Rolf Ikksseen could stand to lose 30.
The vote came after the 9th consecutive resolution asking
Israel to withdraw fully from Palestinian cities and on Palestinian
President Yasser Arafat to rein in "terror attacks."
"We actually thought about putting it up to a 10th vote,
but we were pretty bored at that point," said Ambassador
Sergei Lavrov of Russia. "That's when Secretary General
Kofi Annan came up with the idea of a resolution to lose weight
by summertime. We certainly want to look good for the ladies
in our swim trunks, dont we?"
According to Annan, the resolution calls on it's U.N. members
to lose a minimum of 15 pounds and would be next to impossible
to break, with the entire world watching.
"That means no more cookies or chips and salsa during
breaks," said Annan. "We will have a regular weigh-in
so there can be no cheating."
The Arab delegation immediately boycotted the resolution
after they claim the Israeli delegation tempted them with
cream cheese-slathered bagels.
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