ATLANTA
- Top scientists at the Center for Disease Control (CDC)
released a stunning report Wednesday naming "monkey sex"
as the probable cause of SARS and most, if not all other known
infectious diseases throughout the world.
As
always, the editors of BFA make every effort to be unbiased
in our "outing" of any beloved television star.
That's why we were so shocked at the amount of angry letters
we received from fans of the American Idol loser -- err the
second place guy.
Shizzy,
in his first formal interview ever, talks openly and candidly
about his successes and failures in the prank email industry.
Read some excerpts of the educational and sometimes emotional
interview conducted by David Obuchowski from the popular zine
Late Sunday Afternoon Depression.
6.4.03 -
Did I mention I'm a hot young TV writer living in Los Angeles?
Did I mention that I have a truckload of amazing scripts and
am totally willing to whore myself out to the highest bidder?
Did I mention that my girlfriend feels that blowing a television
executive would not be considered cheating as long as it helps
my career? By "girlfriend" I mean me. If you know
someone who can help, email
me. Meanwhile, keep sending in your crappy
writing samples, your crappy poetry
and you too can be ignored by The White Hollywood Establishment.
5.28.03 - I
hope you all had a wonderful Memorial Day Weekend. I sure
did. I spent the weekend reading mean, hateful letters by
Clay Aiken groupies offended that we inferred the American
Idol star might be gay. Hey ladies, we ain't inferring! While
I think he's one of the most talented young singers I have
heard in recent years, it's the general editorial consensus
of this website that he's a fudgepacking Nancy-boy who spends
his summers competing in jousting competitions, not singing
competitions. And, no, there's not a Renaissance Fair in sight.
Is this a bad thing? Of course not. I am not homophobic. I'm
really not. I will probably even buy his CD, despite the "may
turn you gay" warning label it's sure to include. Please
write your congressman.
**
For now on winning poetry entries will be awarded prizes on
a weekly basis. This month's prizes are awesome: A "Dukes
of Hazzard" 8x10 photo, autographed by James Best, aka
Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane. Dig that!
- Lasting Friendship-
Can
we be still be friends?
You
ask once again
As
I pick up the phone
Forgetting to check the Caller ID
And imagining a scenario where i get my CD's back
and you fall off a cliff
Sure we can be friends
Wanna go hiking this weekend?
By
Jeffrey Bott, Arlington, VA
-Star-Struck-
I
saw R. Lee Ermey in Hollywood
I asked him for an autograph
But then Iraqi commandoes jumped through the window
They were armed with ninja stars and smallpox
They were threatening our freedoms like the right to bear
arms
Before Ermey would murder them he barked at me,
"Guard my Pinto like you would guard your sister's cherry,
Tonto!"
And I did
God help me I did
ATLANTA
- Top scientists at the Center for Disease Control (CDC)
released a stunning report Wednesday naming "monkey sex"
as the probable cause of SARS and most, if not all other known
infectious diseases throughout the world. 
As
always, the editors of BFA make every effort to be unbiased
in our "outing" of any beloved television star.
That's why we were so shocked at the amount of angry letters
we received from fans of the American Idol loser -- err the
second place guy.
Shizzy,
in his first formal interview ever, talks openly and candidly
about his successes and failures in the prank email industry.
Read some excerpts of the educational and sometimes emotional
interview conducted by David Obuchowski from the popular zine
Late Sunday Afternoon Depression.
