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LOS ANGELES - Liza Minnelli has separated from husband
David Gest after only 16 months of marriage due to a sudden
and terrifying moment of self-awareness, the couple's spokesman
said.
According to reports, Minnelli, the superstar daughter of
screen icon Judy Garland and her husband, uber producer Gest,
were cuddling in the "spoon position" in their Manhattan
condo when Minnelli caught a glimpse of themselves in the
ceiling mirror above their bed.
"I was in the middle of talking about how great it was
to be famous and have expensive sheets when suddenly I looked
up and screamed, 'Oh my God, we're disgusting freaks!'"
Minnelli told reporters. "I've never been so scared in
my entire life. Thank God my extremely effeminate, soon-to-be-ex-husband
was there to console me."
"No, no no darling," Gest politely corrected. "I
said you're a freak first. Then I said I was a freak
too a couple of seconds later."
"That's right, I'm sorry darling, that's how it happened,"
Minnelli said. "Then, I suddenly had one of those out-of-body
experiences where I felt like I was floating above the bedroom
and I looked down and saw all those stretch marks and saggy
breasts --and when I realized it was my husband David, I just
screamed bloody murder and grabbed the Vicodin."
Minnelli, 57, and Gest, 49, were wed in New York last March
in front of 200 of their closest friends, including Maid of
Honor Elizabeth Taylor and Best Man Michael Jackson
The pair had announced plans in November to adopt a three-year-old
girl but decided to hold off to promote her new stage show
and receive a body waxing. The toddler was reportedly "relieved"
to stay with her biological parents in war-torn Liberia.
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Above:
Minnelli and Gest suddenly realized they were grotesque and
freakish, despite their refined and sophisticed friends.
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