BOB FROM ACCOUNTING ANNOUNCES
CANDIDACY FOR CALIFORNIA GOVERNOR'S RACE!
Los
Angeles, CA - Despite
being unable to raise the $3500 filing fee or collect 65 legitimate
signatures to qualify for the ballot, Bob From Accounting
stunned friends, family and website editors with the announcement
he will run as a write-in candidate for the Governership of
California. Calling himself a man of the people and "Mexican-lover,"
Bob promised to expose the other candidates' weaknesses but
will attempt to avoid the kind of negative campaigning that
seems to turn off voters. Developing...
DONOR CORNER: BFA SALUTES GREG
AND HIS 'FATASS EX-GIRLFRIEND'
Greg's
former girlfriend before she got 'all fat n shit'
Name: Greg T., Buffalo,
NY Donation: $25
Why the donation? I
like the website but mostly I wanted to humiliate my ex-girlfriend.
Her name is Julie Falcone. Don't post her last name
because her brother is slightly bigger than me. LOL. Just
use her initials or something. He's a dumb wop but he can
read (Nothing against Italians LOL!) By the way, The
photo I sent was when I first started dating her -- not later
when she got all fat n shit.
Favorite part of the website:Shizzy.
His prank emails are awesome. Are they real?
Yes they are real. So why
do you hate Julie? I got her a job at Dunhill Staffing--
it's a temp agency outside Buffalo but just write "temp
agency." She started messing around with her boss and
finally I confronted her and she admitted she was cheating
on me. She borrowed money from me for more than two years
to pay off her student loans. Then she used the money to buy
a car AFTER she broke up with me. She didn't even graduate
from college (SUNY Buffalo) but she still lies about it on
her resume.
What
do you want us to do about it? Nothing I guess. Just post
that she's a bitch and a cheater. If any of your readers know
her, maybe they could email her asking for my money back.
Actually, I would rather if could you just have Shizzy do
some kind of prank or something.
Sure,
Shizzy would love to do that. What is her email? It's
italykitten101@yahoo.com. Thanks, tell Shizzy to give
that fatass hell. She deserves it!
We
agree.
Single?
Have a business or service to advertise? Want to publicly
humiliate an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend/deadbeat dad? Want to
share your angry beef with the world? Show your boobs? Make
a donation of at least $25 and we'll hand you a million
readers.
8.20.03
- Isn't
that donor corner thing cool? I can't believe we never thought
of that before. I must be a friggin genius. Obviously, the
ones we've posted so far have been pretty weird and unique
but never fear, make a donation
and we'll find something freakish to exploit. We will be keeping
all of these permanently on a special donor page so
it's really great deal. Plus, it helps save BFA staffers from
the unemployment lines AND helps fund Bob's candidacy for
Governor of California. See, you can make a difference!
8.13.03
- A
couple of mentions: first and foremost, Bob is now running
for Governor of California. More on this soon. Second, our
favorite immigrant columnist, Yu Weng Po, will be back next
week and promises to be better than ever. This week we have
a hilarious new column by Shizzy, despite the fact that he's
feeling a bit unappreciated lately. He's worried his entire
life revolves around prank emails and bong resin and he wants
to be more than just a cruel xenophobe living off his parents'
retirement fund. He wants to have sex with a girl. He wants
a minifridge. If you can help motivate him or have any ideas,
send him a note.
As for Bunsen,
he has the opposite problem. His ego has been in overdrive
ever since the name "Bunsen" and a quote attributed
to his column was uttered by none other than Ben Affleck on
"The Tonight Show" Monday evening. Bunsen, jealous
as always, recently made several vitriolic statements concerning
the movie "Gigli" and its stars. I would like to
say at this time, that I, as the Editor in Chief of BFA and
Bunsen's supervisor and boss, in no way endorse the cruel
mocking of two bigger-than-life superstars. Two people whose
love not only spans time but evokes two butterflies kissing
in midair. There is no greater actor of our time than Boston's
greatest son, Ben Affleck. I'd also like to add that any
indictment of "Gigli" should not affect any possible
future employment opportunities I may have with Mr. Affleck's
company, Live Planet or my pending application and movie script
submitted for the incredibly innovative Project Greenlight
contest. Go see Gigli. Bring a date. You'll love it!
Los
Angeles, CA - Despite
being unable to raise the $3500 filing fee or collect 65 legitimate
signatures to qualify for the ballot, Bob From Accounting
stunned friends, family and website editors with the announcement
he will run as a write-in candidate for the Governership of
California. Calling himself a man of the people and "Mexican-lover,"
Bob promised to expose the other candidates' weaknesses but
will attempt to avoid the kind of negative campaigning that
seems to turn off voters. Developing...
