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Orlando, FL — Parents hugged their children and breathed a sigh of relief Friday when police announced they had finally arrested suspected rapist and kidnapper Raymond Phelps, 34, after a six month sting operation at Disney's Magic Kingdom theme park.

Raymond, a Disney janitor and career criminal, had just made a bulk purchase of gigantic lollipops, which he allegedly used to lure unsuspecting children into his Buick Riviera, when a police officer disguised in a Little Lord Fauntleroy outfit tackled the suspect and held him until backup arrived.

Phelp's coworkers were not at all shocked by the arrest, citing numerous examples of anti social behavior and specific threats against children whenever he was angered.

"To be honest, he wasn't really a people person," admits fellow janitor Carl Allen. "I guess in retrospect, we should have known something was wrong since he seemed to deeply hate people and he didn't have any friends and talked a lot about murder. Plus, he never associated with his coworkers and didn't bring anything to the company potluck last year."

Other workers agreed Phelps wasn't a people person, but some assumed that he was just broke and had a miserable marriage like the rest of them.

"I was actually thinking of calling the police when those kids disappeared," maintenance supervisor Donald Mackie says today. "I thought Phelps did it, especially after I found that bag of bloodstained children's underwear in his locker. But after he screamed at me for invading his privacy and explaining the underwear was not his, I figured I was just being paranoid."

Police Chief Andrew Cass thanked the arresting officers in a ceremony Tuesday, explaining to would-be rapists that the police are watching them very closely.

"If only we had known that Phelps wasn't a people person earlier, we may have averted all those tragedies. This is certainly a lesson for all of us."

 

 

Photo: According to friends and coworkers, Phelps "was not a people person"

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Copyright © 2001-2006 Bob From Accounting/Orange Planet Entertainment, Inc. All Rights Reserved. That means you too, Mr. Steven Spielberg