"Judgment Day"
by
M. Cartright, Montgomery, AL
Just
because I don't smoke pot
And I don't drink what's considered a lot
And I'm saving myself till my wedding day
Never taking the Lord's name in vain
I'm
polite to my parents
And rarely talk back
The 10 commandments
is not a bunch of flack
I
never make empty wishes
for superficial things like material wealth
I would much rather die
then be a pervert and touch myself
Think
about that next time you make fun of me
Don't tie me naked to a tree
Or call me a dyky bitch
Because only the Lord's scratch I will itch
In
heaven I shall be judged one day
And the Lord knows that I'm not gay
I've learned one thing that I know is true
God loves me a lot more than you
Life
is really a great big test
Of who gets ahead without showing her breasts
As soon as I leave this high school jail
The rest of you can burn in hell!
Mashed Pertators"
by
Alex Dulles, Bloomington, IL
This is a question for all the ages
of
you, me and mashed pertators
I'm
not complainin', please understand
about
the hugs, the looks and the frisky hand
But
there's a limit to all this love
Is
it the strawberry jelly and the rubber glove?
Or
the peanut butter with whipped cream on top?
Pretending your a pig and I'm your slop
But
it's gotta stop now, I'm getting sick
of Cheese Whiz or the lost carrot stick
Can't
we make love like regular folk?
It's
hard to wash off dried egg yolk
I
knew our sex life would need to mend
When I found mashed pertators in my rear end
|
BOB
EDITION 
The
Craptastic Movie Reviewer
Slightly
Promiscuous Television Analysis
by Media Whore
