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As is my modus operandi, I usually
make crass statements about movies, or expose weaknesses of
particular movies that feature shitty actors and pretend like
I could do it any better. Most often, I fabricate lies and
then try to convince you, the reader, that they’re true.
However, after watching “Ray,” the appropriate thing
seems to deliver a humble and sincere review, worthy of such
a musical legend. It's simply difficult to make fun of a blind
guy, let alone a blind guy who accomplished more in his lifetime
that I would in ten lifetimes. However, a blind guy who is
also a decades-long junkie/womanizer is something else entirely.
I'm sure you would agree that's fair territory.
Okay, you've all heard the Oscar chatter about Jamie Foxx.
It's true. He's really good. He absolutely channels a blind,
womanizing, junkie singer to such a degree that you forget
you're watching one of the Wayans brothers -- or whoever that
guy is. Anyway, the story and all that just pales in comparison
to the acting, which, after reading the press notes, I'm glad
they didn't go with Ben Affeck in blackface. Or Roberto Begnini
for that matter. And Jerry Bruckheimer at the helm would have
fucked this one up too.
As for the rest of the movie, who cares? Jamie Foxx is not
only gonna get an Oscar, he's going to get more tail than
he knows what to do with. The film itself is nothing new or
groundbreaking as far as biopics go, and I should warn you,
it's three hours long.
I did learn a lot about Ray Charles. To the average guy,
Ray Charles had a very unusual life. When compared to other
musicians, he shot up heroin, smoked dope and bang chicks
like everyone else. It's just fun to watch a blind guy do
all that. The only surprising revelation is that Ray Charles
wasn’t always a super nice guy. This actually makes me
like him more -- especially since before he died, he guided
the whole movie. Now that's honesty.
At the end of the film, pictures of Ray Charles flicked across
the screen. It was uncanny how similar Jamie Foxx actually
looks like Ray Charles. Which was cool because Lou Diamond
Phillips looked a lot like Ritchie Valens in “La Bamba.”
But then Jamie Foxx turned in a stellar performance, thus
ending comparisons to Lou Diamond Phillips, who sucks. His
performance had everything it needs to win an Oscar: depth,
complexity and the fact that his character was handicapped.
Most likely, Foxx will join the ranks of the other actors
to win Academy Awards for their painfully accurate portrayals
of handicapped and/or retarded people. Dustin Hoffman, Daniel
Day Lewis, Cliff Robertson, and Cuba Gooding Jr. Actually,
Cuba Gooding Jr. only acted like a retard after he
accepted the Academy Award. Same difference.
Go see this movie or instead, you can attempt to sit through
"Surviving Christmas", where Ben Affleck merely
channels the ghost of shitty actors, shitty writers and shitty
directors.
And yet, he'll still get a front row seat at the Oscars —
right next to Foxx. Hollywood sucks.
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Jamie
Foxx as "Ray".
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