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Read Shizzy's Prank Email Archives!

Cruel, Cruel Email From Deep Within the Bowels of Slacker Hell

Send all comments or ideas to Shizzy Joyce. These are actual emails from actual humans... plus Shizzy. THEY ARE REAL.  Please forgive us and enjoy!



Hello My Peeps!

Ooh you're gonna love this new prank email. I felt it was about time to go after some REALLY deserving types, and after spending some time in a hate group chatroom, I found the perfect victim. It's a little disturbing but I think you can handle it.

Here's the setup:

Sort of similar to what I did with the correspondence with the Olsen Twins Fan, I left a fake email address of a super duper famous racist in a demented Aryan/Neo Nazi chatroom where rednecks get together to discuss which race/ethnic group they can blame for their shitty lot in life. The email I conveniently posted was from a guy who practically FOUNDED the modern version of the White Knights or the Aryan Brotherhood or whatever. Anyway, he's friggin' important and EVERY fanatical racist considers this guy a saint. It didn't take long before some idiot wrote me a note. I've [slightly] changed his name to protect the innocent -- ME!

Love thy neighbor,

Grand Shizzmaster

Date: Tue, 16 Sep 2003 17:12:09 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com
Subject: Hi
To: "John Ward" <stormxxxx@hotmail.com> |

John,

I hope I'm not bothering you but your email address was posted in the xxxxxx-xxxx forum and I'm a HUGE fan of yours. There are so many things i want to thank you for all these years. I dont know where to start. You are one of the reasons i became part of this movement and showed me the true light about how niggers and the fag media are destroying our presious way of life. Please write back. Its an honor to meet you!!!!!

White POWER!

Eddie Waverly


Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2003 18:19:04 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com
Subject: Re: Hi
To: "John Ward" <stormxxxx@hotmail.com> |

Eddie,

Thank you so much for your kind words. It's embarrassing to hear such nice things said about me. The fight is important to our WHITE RACE and I'm sure you are a good soldier. But I have to run right now, I have a brunch with some of our compatriots and I'm supposed to bring the biscuits. They actually wanted me to bring bagels but there was no way that was going to happen!

If you have any questions or need some "direction" in what you can do to help the movement, let me know. Also, if you don't mind, please refer to me as Mr. Ward.

John F. Ward  (It's really me, Shizzy!)


Date: Thu, 18 Sep 2003 10:25:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com
Subject: Re: Hi
To: "John Ward" <stormxxxx@hotmail.com> |

Mr. Ward,

-I don't think I've ever been so excited to see an email then when i got yours. Thank you so much for writing back to me (and sorry about calling you John). You really are a hero to me and my associetes and we will do anything you think is important to the cause. i live in central California but I was born in Alabama which as you know is still filled with niggers who make our lives hard every day. Do you still beleive in the race war and when do you think it will happen. I hope soon .I would like to know what you reccomend to do to help stop the jew owned congress and the jew owned media and their nigger slaves and help free us all?

Yours in White Spirit

Eddie


Date: Thu, 18 Sep 2003 10:25:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: ”John Ward” <stormxxxx@hotmail.com> |
Subject: Re: Hi
To: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com

Eddie,

Thank you again for your letters. It's always nice to meet a fan. I would be happy to autograph an old noose or nazi flag if you have one. Unfortunately, due to the demand, I do need to charge a small fee for autographs and photos. I'm sure you understand.

As for the race war, sure I believe it WILL happen. Back in the 60's, Charles Manson talked about the race war and everyone thought he was crazy. Unfortunately, he was a stupid drugged out hippy and got a bunch of girls to kill people. That's NOT how you start a proper race war. Duh. The best way is to start at a grassroots level. One small way I discovered that works well is to start really nasty rumors about non-white people in the community. It may sound strange or inconsequential, but you'd be surprised how the ball starts rolling if you happen to mention to your neighbor that your black cleaning lady stole change from your daughter's piggy bank. Watch how quickly she is kicked out of church. I've already gone through like three or four maids that way. It sounds dishonest but there's a bigger picture here when you're starting a race war. Plus, I'm sure she was stealing anyway and I needed the change for the vending machine at work.

John Ward


Date: Thu, 18 Sep 2003 10:25:20 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com
Subject: Re: Hi
To: "John Ward" <stormxxxx@hotmail.com> |

Mr. Ward,

I still cant believe your writing to me. My friends want to buy memerabila. We really like that early photo of you with both hands in the air and Martin Luther QUEEN in the background. If you have that one, and could autograph it for me that would be great. I was watching TV and watched that show Will and Grace for the first time. It was disgusting faggot show What can be done to get that homo shit off the TV. It is an honor to speak to you

White POWER

Eddie


Date: Thu, 18 Sep 2003 14:02:35 -0700 (PDT)
From: "John Ward" <stormxxxx@hotmail.com> |
Subject: Re: Hi
To: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com

Dear Eddie,

Thank you again for your letters. You sound like a great role model to your WHITE race. I've seen that show Will and Grace. It's really a shame that such vileness is allowed to permeate our WHITE airwaves. Thankfully, I read that the actor who plays Will is not really gay, even though he seems really gay because he's so well-groomed and handsome and dresses so nicely. And I also read that Debra Messing is Jewish, which is obviously a plot to lure our WHITE brothers into lusting after attractive jewish actresses. By the way, the only reason I watch that show is because it's always very important to monitor the activities of our enemies. I'm not watching it because I like it or anything. Also, sometimes I'm just to tired to get up and switch the channel after "Friends". All those people on Friends are Jews too but it's still a pretty funny show and like I said, they need to be monitored closely. I really hope that Ross doesn't get back together with Rachel -- racemixing on TV is just as bad as in real life. Plus, they're totally wrong for each other.

Anyway, I realize that you know everything about me but I barely know anything about you.

John Ward


Date: Thu, 18 Sep 2003 15:59:16 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com
Subject: Re: Hi
To: "John Ward" <stormxxxx@hotmail.com> |

Mr. Ward,

I don't watch a lot of television because of my resistance to the media in general but i can understand why you think it is a good way to monitor them . I live in central california which is nowhere near those Hollywood homos thank God. I work as a heavy equipment operator in a small town. I was recently divorced which I'm happy about because it gives me more time to give to the Brotherhood. I spend a lot of time in the xxxxx-xxxxxx forum. You should go there. They would flip out if they saw you there. You are a legend to many people, i'm not sure if you know that. Please tell me anything i can do to help you and the cause. Also, are you still running the militia camp? I would love to be a part of it!!!

White POWER

Eddie


Date: Thu, 18 Sep 2003 17:02:54 -0700 (PDT)
From: "John Ward" <stormxxxx@hotmail.com> |
Subject: Re: Hi
To: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com

Eddie,

Yes, I will go into that forum.Please mention to all your friends that autographed photos are $20 each or three for $50. I'd say that's a pretty good deal. Also, I'm having a bust made which can be special ordered and customized -- depending on if you prefer the young militant me or the older, slightly overweight me. As for the militia camp, YES, we are definitely still running it. I think you should definitely come on down. You will be taught survival skills, multiple weapons training, urban warfare and jew-baiting. I think you would be great as a counselor too. We must learn to fight against the blacks, jews and homosexuals. As well as the Mexicans, illegal immigrants, arabs, native american savages and about 75% of Catholics. Also, I'm not crazy about Japs and all those other Asian fish throwers. I think you would be great as a counselor.

John Ward

P.S. Sorry to hear about your divorce. I'm sure you'll meet someone soon.


Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2003 13:51:36 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com
Subject: Re:
To: "John Ward" <stormxxxx@hotmail.com> |

Mr. Ward

That sounds amazing iwould love to be a part of your camp. it would be an honor to serve under you. Please tell me more about the details. i think I would like to buy a few autographed photos too and maybe a bust if it's not too expensive (I'm a little broke right now) Also I'm curious what you think about Bush and the next president race. Did you know that John Kerry has Jewish roots. Thanks for the thoughts on my divorce. I'm trying to meet women every day, thats why my wife divorced me in the first place. HA HA

Eddie


Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2003 14:36:30 -0700 (PDT)
From: ”John Ward” <stormxxxx@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: Hi
To: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com

Eddie,

That's great. I can't wait to see you at our WHITE militia camp. This year we're going a bit different. It's going to have kids as well as adults. Unfortunately, due to our budget, we've had to raise prices and campers will now have to purchase their own robes. This year's design is really beautiful. By popular request we've brought back the hood and added some air vents to make them easier to breathe and run around in. The kids will have a great time and learn what we're all about. We're looking for someone who obviously hates race mixing and with some training in urban combat as well as arts and crafts. Nothing too sophisticated but the kids really like making their own nazi symbols and crosses out of popsicle sticks.

John Ward


Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2003 15:21:53 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com
Subject: Re: Hi
To: "John Ward" <stormxxxx@hotmail.com>

Mr. Ward,

I don't really dont now much about arts and crafts but I have some hand to hand fight training. I've also driven a bus and have the proper lisense for that so i could help there. Is the camp still in Idaho or or is it in Indiana where you live? Is your wife still involved in the movement. I saw her on Jerry Springer about 5 years ago and she was great. I still have the tape of her on that show.

Eddie


Date: Sat, 20 Sep 2003 03:28:43 -0700 (PDT)
From: "John Ward" <stormxxxx@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: Hi
To: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com |

Eddie,

We REALLY need someone with arts and crafts training since the woman who was doing it last year got run over by a Jew-owned sanitation truck. Most of the other counselor positions are filled. I know this sounds a little silly, but the easiest thing to do is go to your library or crafts center and learn some art projects that little kids would like -- you know, stuff with paste and construction paper and little fun knicknacks to decorate the house. If you spend the next few months watching Martha Stewart's daytime show, you'll learn a lot. This is really important. As for my wife, we're separated too. She got tired of all the meetings in my basement and having to make finger sandwiches for other Aryan leaders who would drop by all the time. She actually had the nerve to accuse me of being gay which is totally ridiculous. If I were gay i would only tell someone that i could really trust and certainly not that hurtful bitch. Anyway, maybe I should move to California. Do you ever get to see celebrities out there? Have you ever met that guy from Will and Grace? I'm trying to contact him -- just to tell him how much I hate his show, not because i like him or anything.

John Ward


Date: Mon, 22 Sep 2003 11:21:05 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com
Subject: Re: Hi
To: "John Ward" <stormxxxx@hotmail.com>

Mr. Ward,

I don't know any celebrites and I've only been to los angeles once becaise its too crowded with all those wetbacks and niggers. You couldnt pay me to live in that place. I will try hard to learn arts and crafts but I never was good at them when i was a boy so i'm not sure how well I will do. I will watch that show since Martha Steward is very white. i usually work night construction jobs right now so i can watch that show during the daytime no prob. Sorry to hear about the women getting run over by a jew. that's just like the jews to destroy whatsever in there path. Please tell me more about the camp. When would I start ? Does it cost money or because i would be a counsler it would be free?

Eddie


Date: Wed, 24 Sep 2003 09:29:28 -0700 (PDT)
From: "John Ward" <stormxxxx@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re:
To: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com

Eddie,

Yeah, we will have to charge you some money but it's a lot less because you're helping with arts and crafts. I'm assuming you won't mind doing some other chores? Are you physically fit? I usually like to hire tall men with muscular physiques because of the intensity of the training -- not because I care about how you look which is totally fag-like. Anyway, after working up a nice healthy sweat, you can use the communal shower and bathhouse which is actually attached to my cabin. You'll have plenty of time for a nice long relaxing shower and still make the evening effigy burning.

John Ward

 

You would think this guy would have caught on by now. Nope. Thank God these bigots are so dumb.

 

Date: Wed, 24 Sep 2003 11:06:29 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com
Subject: Re: Hi
To: "John Ward" <stormxxxx@hotmail.com>

Yeah, that sounds fine. I'm pretty strong i guess. I have a bit of a beer gut but i'm really strong. I'm 6'1" so i can handle most tasks. If I just came as a regular participant and didn't have to do all the extra stuff, how much would it be then? Like I said, I'm kind of broke. There will be full militia training and not just the kid stuff right? It all sounds strange but lots of people have gone to your camp and swear by it so i'm sure it will be great.

Eddie


Date: Wed, 24 Sep 2003 11:06:29 -0700 (PDT)
From: ”John Ward” <stormxxxx@hotmail.com>
Subject: Re: Hi
To: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com

Eddie,

I tell you what, if you don't mind sharing a cabin with yours truly, then I think we could work it out where you could come and train for free. Think of all the time we could spend together then. I've always wanted to mentor someone who appreciates all I've given to the WHITE movement. I know you've probably never bunked with another man but we're Aryan BROTHERS so it's perfectly okay. And, if, by chance you get a little scared by the sounds of the coyotes or wolves you could always jump in my bed which is only about 6 inches away. We could read Mein Kampf together until you fall asleep. I know that after a few weeks of all that hard work, you will come to really appreciate my experience as a massage therapist and you won't be afraid to ask me to rub your aching muscles after a long day of training.THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT!

John Ward

 

I thought for sure I would never hear from Eddie again. But then this final short note:

 

Date: Wed, 24 Sep 2003 11:06:29 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Ed Waverly" <white_power3@xxxxxx-xxxx.com
Subject: Re:
To: ”John Ward” <stormxxxx@hotmail.com>

Are you sure this the Aryan Knights DSS Militia camp we've been talking about?

 


I'm sure this tool would have continued writing to me but I just couldn't go on. Let this correspondence be a lesson to the rest of us out there. I'm not sure what the lesson is, but there's got to be a lesson in there somewhere.

Peace out,

Shizzy

Suggestions? Comments? Send me a note .

**Ed. Note: Yes, these emails are real. Yes, we change the names. Duh. Except for some spelling and paragraphing cleanup to make them more readable, the emails are exactly as they are sent and received. Anyone attempting to find some kind of "conspiracy" at BFA have even more free time on their hands than Shizzy.

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