Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2003 10:30:18 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Rich Callahan" <richCallahanxxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Seeking Rapper
To: xxxx@msn.com

Hello. My name is Richard Callahan and I am a talent representative for Shizzy Records. We are a new record company based out of Dublin. We are looking for unknown artists who are talented and don't yet have representation. If you are interested in competing with other aspiring rappers out there for a record contract please contact me ASAP. Hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely,

Richard Callahan (It's me, Shizzy!)

Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2003 21:04:04 +0200 (MEST)
From: xxxx@msn.com |
To: "Rich Callahan" <richCallahanxxx@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Seeking Rapper

Hello!

This is Alan from Berlin. Thank you for your e-mail. I want to introduce me to you. I am very talented. I already recorded a disc,
and I already had many performances in clubs and in schools. And everybody liked it. They were bouncing like at a real concert.
I can send you my CD if you want to. Here I sell it myself. I sold About 50 cds. The lyrics and beats are made by myself. It took about 1.5 years to record it. And everybody here like it and think that I can be on the same position like many other internationally known rappers. If you give me your address I will send you my CD. So please write back if you are interested. peace up

ALAN (Master Alan)

Date: Thu, 9 Oct 2003 13:07:48 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Rich Callahan" <richCallahanxxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Re: Seeking Rapper
To: xxxx@msn.com

Hello Master Alan,

Glad to hear you are already comfortable performing and are finding success in your creative work. Here at Shizzy Records we are looking for artists who write and perform lyrics of relevance. At this stage we are looking for artists who are willing to submit some lyrics to us on various subjects. If you are interested in participating please write a short rap about your life and your pursuit of success in the rap game. We would like to see if your lyrical style is what we are looking for at Shizzy. We hope to receive your song within 24 hours. You are in competition with other aspiring rappers who will also be submitting their songs to us. Glad to hear that you are interested and we look forward to reading your entry.

Sincerely,
Richard Callahan

Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2003 09:42:52 +0200 (MEST)
From: "Alan Rossdeutcher" <xxxx@msn.com> |
To: "Rich Callahan" <richCallahanxxx@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Seeking Rapper

Hello!

This is a text called MY LIFE. I wrote it by myself.

MY LIFE:

I like rappers like you 50 Cent and I want to be there where you are Too. But it’s a hard way, but it may someday yo happen I mean somebody Like Michael Jackson Cause I study hard my first performances in clubs

----BREAK!!!----

let’s go I don’t want so many years till I am a big male because of all the pain and all the tears I want to get my records now , can you tell me how ? --- WOW that’s it than I can do it Cause I have my own style while other motherfuckers imitate Dmx and Slim Shady But I am ready and steady to go , and to create our style the MO I dreamed about that For example Mack 10, who got Ferraris and Mercedes Benz

Refrain :

This is my life from the beginning to the now
Yes I did it(yo) I take the wow
A one like Lil Bow Wow now you say wow wow
And you ask me who who??
I started at home, I wrote a poem
And I made it on my own
I gave up? not I tried again and again
Till I‘ve had my fans.

I always wrote songs in my free time, tried to rhyme, word by word
Sometimes it hurts, because it was against my fucking Dad but I went
On with The pen in my hand, just had twenty cent, bought a new one and to have fun again, my brother too when he got home with a chic from a club and then always the words I heard… listen (ahhhh)
Next day, I went to school one step nearer to rule
Come home, stay home, study at home to get my way and everything on
It’s hard work either people think you just make some concerts
But that’s not all because you have to be strong and tall in this Business which can be very long…

Refrain (1x)

I don’t know when I started but I loved that , to make beats and lyrics
in the backseat I went to the studio and recorded beats which meet my voice which can bring much noise some were annoyed but you can’t tell me --hey-- Because I do my thing , I can’t be stopped , and I don’t get rubbed And I don’t give a fuck !!!
And I don’t want to live in his block 85, everybody has a knife
And they beat there wives and speak the same dialect not very weak
Because of 20 gram Weed so they are flying and trying to get more
Aren’t you bored with taking it and hating other for your faults
I have created my own world the MO which is getting bigger so..
Refrain (3x)

Hope you like it

Master Alan

(Oh my God that was horrible. I mean….BRILLIANT!)

Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2003 10:22:38 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Rich Callahan" <richCallahanxxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Re: Seeking Rapper
To: "Alan Rossdeutcher" <xxxx@msn.com>

Well done Alan! I like your style. We initially got hundreds of submissions and I can already tell you will be on our shortlist. We are asking that our next submission’s premise be a song about a topic of relevance in the world today. The war in the Middle East, AIDS in Africa, unemployment here in the States, rampant herpes among adult kayakers, etc, are all issues in the public consciousness that we feel aren't addressed enough by rap artists. We here at Shizzy feel that the "bling bling, my rims are bigger than yours" party rap scene is doomed. We feel that a more politically aware rap scene will emerge. So, we are asking our finalists to pen a rap song about a relevant topic concerning the world we live in. We know this will be challenging, but we feel that rapping about having money and blasting people is becoming a thing of the past. We want Shizzy to be on the forefront of a new era in rap music. Rappers who care! I look forward to reading your next submission.

Sincerely,
Richard Callahan

Date: Sun, 12 Oct 2003 12:49:02 +0200 (MEST)
From: "Alan Rossdeutcher" <xxxx@msn.com> |
To: "Rich Callahan" <richCallahanxxx@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Seeking Rapper

Hello!

This is just a short text about the topics you asked me to write about. It's not a whole song.

Text:

So this is about the middle east, my feelings are very deep, for Example when the US plain coming he’s pushing the red button result explosion like when a ocean is exploding/ this is what is happening over there, where you have to fight for your life, US is coming there [where] this is what people are thinking over there / they can not go anywhere is that fair no I don’t think so, so why don’t you stop doing this shit to them /and are taking life away / they want to keep it/ they do it every night and day they pray for it/ but

Although they have nothing eat (eat) they don’t know where to sleep
Some hours/ they can not take a shower without being scared they have to beware of you I pity you for being in this situation; it's the fault of the US Nation

Many people are doing war for money some people do it and think it’s Funny
some are felling nice and think they are sunny boys but don’t you give the kids a short smile with some toys…..they’re the future the boys and girls all over the world So give yourself motivation with helping other poor nations……..
Tell me what is coming to your mind when you try to find a reason for poorness diseases and war. I mean do it yourself and work work moreThe one who are seeing the world from one side are damaged in their brain. They never had a fucking aim, they just stayed the same, the one who should blame themselves for living in wealth cause of their parents help.

Alan

Date: Tue, 14 Oct 2003 09:51:32 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Rich Callahan" <richCallahanxxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Re: Seeking Rapper
To: "Alan Rossdeutcher" <xxxx@msn.com>

Alan ,

I am very impressed with your lyrical content and the flow of the song. Many of the aspiring rappers we have been in contact with have not sent us a song as good as yours. I actually almost cried -- especially about the part where you say the girls and boys are the future. Anyway, we applaud your effort and recognize your ability to pen a song and teach us a lesson about the Middle East at the same time. We have broken down the list to four finalists and I am happy to report you are one of the four. In tournament fashion we are pitting the four finalists against each other in a battle rap situation. We are aware that battling is something usually done live but at this point we will have to stick to email. Our four finalists are from different regions in the world including Britain, Los Angeles, Chicago and some whigger in Okahoma. Here is where you stand Alan. You will be facing a guy from Chicago that goes by the name Dr. Darko. He is quite gifted but don't worry because he wrote a pointless rap about our the US reliance on oil consumption and the possibly of hydrogen cells powering cars. How stupid is that?

Anyway, You get to fire the first shot in the battle. Simply write a short bit about why you are the best rapper and how the competition will get stoned if they face you. Your typical battle rap. . I hope you are up for playing. Upon receiving your submission I will send it to Dr. Darko and I'll get his response to you.

Richard Callahan

Date: Thu, 16 Oct 2003 21:33:06 +0200 (MEST)
From: "Alan Rossdeutcher" <xxxx@msn.com> |
To: "Rich Callahan" <richCallahanxxx@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Seeking Rapper

Hello!

This is Master Alan. Here is the text against Dr. Darko :

Darko listen!
I am the best cause I got a new flow and a good (good) represented Show
Which is shown by me the one the world haven’t yet seen
Which you won’t ever be, I don’t have to be mean
But it’s me who the world wants to see
Sorry DARRKO BUT I AM CLEAN
I got the right head to be a rap-superstar
Cause I can also mention topics like the war
So please DR. DARKO wait, you need a little break
Because against my lyrically style you’re a fake
Look here I’m taking you the deal away, so better stay in Chicago,
Mrs. Darko Maybe I’m from a place where rap is unknown like Glasgow
But you can’t be better than me cause it’s of my interest if you have
Grown up in Chicago or from NYC …
I am writing this rap-letter, to tell you who the fuck is much betta …
I let ya feel deep, I am the one who is coming nearer to a contract
with my feet I gonna fire you in the ground cause I got a 100 times better sound So you can be sure that you are out of the deal
Cause it’s always of my interest how old you are, how tall you are
cause I trust myself That I’m a rap-superstar…
And I‘m a cool guy, you ask me why? Try to find out I tell you Darko
Cause this is what I’m all about
I swear No doubt!

MASTER ALAN

Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 09:05:12 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Dr Darko" <Dxxx_xxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Re:
To: "Alan Rossdeutcher" <xxxx@msn.com>

I Rock the Mic

Werd to the digga, I am the ill figga, I'm a straight up Playa With a Spoon Full of Shigga. You can't say nothin 'bout my flow, I plant my seeds and my rhymes just grow. I lay in my pool and play tictactoe. Listen to me as I straight up blow....

E I E I E I O I rock this farm like Cotton Eye Joe. You better drink Sprite or I just don't know. Word to Shizzy who be on to my flow. Alan no you don't know my flow. You be trippin on my trail of hos. On my arm I have an elbo. On my feets I have nine toes. I'll have a drink with Homer at Moe’s. Yeah werd is bond on the miggety mo. What? What? You be messin wit the cream of the crop I rise to the top, I never eat a pig cuz a pig is a cop a better yet a terminator like Governor schwarzenegger trying to play me out like as if my name was Sega. Tic Tac To and Flimflam Doe. Eeeny meeny miny moe. On Halloween I dress up like the Crow. I drink Sprite like I just don't know. WORD TO YOUR MOTHA Dr. Darko

Yeah boy, hope you can keep up. Let's see if you can match my wits.

PEACE

Dr. Darko

Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 09:05:12 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Rich Callahan" <richCallahanxxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Re: Seeking Rapper
To: "Alan Rossdeutcher" <xxxx@msn.com>

Alan,

I've got unbelievable news about Dr. Darko. I have just gotten word that we have been fooled and that Dr. Darko is actually former rap legend Vanilla Ice (aka Rob Van Winkle ) and he has been messing with us. We would really like you to break it to him that we know who he is and that we are calling him out. Do it right and there will be a future for you at Shizzy Records.

Richard Callahan

P.S. Be ruthless, Alan because we are quite angry at Mr. Winkle for ruining rap music for white people.

Date: Sat, 18 Oct 2003 12:48:23 +0200 (MEST)
From: "Alan Rossdeutcher" <xxxx@msn.com> |
To: "Rich Callahan" <richCallahanxxx@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Seeking Rapper

Hello !

Here is the text against Dr. Darko ( Vanilla Ice ):

Listen !
You say you’re the cream of the crop
Betta start pop cause people won’t ever tell you great job
Betta stop doing Hip Hop we know who you are
You wanted to be a rap superstar !!!
But people didn’t want to hear yo
I don’t have to drink a Duff bear at Moes !
Your rhymes haven’t grown
Whatever you want to show you got a stupid flow
You don’t know you aren’t good enough for my rap stuff
And in the past it wasn’t enough too
They know who you are
V-A-N-I-L-L-A you better stay where you are cause you aren’t a superstar
Come on cutie phone your Ma!
Vanilla Ice you are still the same, in my eyes you are a female
I tell ya, you’re out of the game, so stop blaming yourself
In your diss you said you dress like a crow
That’s the reason why you fucker aren’t shown
How deep have you lowering, man do you know that you stink Mr. ICE
We two know here you try it twice, but your skillz aren’t very nice
Yes (yes ) I can match your wits
And now SHIZZY is calling you out better stop talking shit
that’s coming out of your mouth
You are so unknown I don’t know where are you from!
Maybe from the dirty south
You won’t ever be on my lyrically side
So VANILLA ICE be sure that you will be called out tonight ….!

MASTER ALAN

Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2003 09:05:12 -0700 (PDT)
From: "D Darko" <Dxxx_xxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Re:
To: "Alan Rossdeutcher" <xxxx@msn.com>

Yo Yo Yo Master Alan and Callahan,

This is Vanilla and I ain't no whigga.

I apologize for straight up hijacking your competition. Yo I am just crazy illin here lately and I don't know what got into me. Usually nobody wants to battle with me cuz they jealous of my licks and try to copy my hairdo, but I invented white rap and I can do it again better this time, just watch me. I gotta a new image that's off the hook. I'm gonna make Eminem look like Boy George. I do this whole pirate thing now and nobody knows who I am because of the patch and hat. My great great grandfather was a pirate so I'm paying tribute to him. I would like to battle Master Alan with his best pirate rap. Sorry for messing with ya but I think you are a punk.

Vanilla Ice

Date: Sat, 18 Oct 2003 10:47:28 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Rich Callahan" <richCallahanxxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Re: Seeking Rapper
To: "Alan Rossdeutcher" <xxxx@msn.com>

Alan,

I'm glad Vanilla was mature enough to apologize. He's been trying to get on Shizzy Records since we launched so he shows up every time we have a competition. We might be interested in signing him since this whole pirate thing is so original. I hope you don't mind but could you please try to do a pirate rap. It's between you two, so give it your best shot.

Richard Callahan

Date: Sat, 18 Oct 2003 20:46:31 +0200 (MEST)
From: "Alan Rossdeutcher" <xxxx@msn.com> |
To: "Rich Callahan" <richCallahanxxxx@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Seeking Rapper

Hello !

I have some questions at you: You said that Vanilla Ice, me, the one of Los Angeles and from Britain are the finalists.What is happening with the one of Los Angeles and from Britain? And what is about me? I would like going on in the competition and I have a lot of motivation now, but tell me why I should write something about pirates. That weren't my great great great parents, so I really don't know a lot about this topic. And can you give me maybe a website of Shizzy records? I believe in Shizzy, but you have to know that this is just the internet, and you can't be always 100% sure that you are at a real company. This is not against you but it would be good for me. I will give it a try (rap about pirates), and I hope for answers towards my questions.

MASTER Alan

He’s getting suspicious. I can't believe it took this long.

Date: Sat, 18 Oct 2003 13:24:30 -0700 (PDT)
From: "Rich Callahan" <richCallahanxxxx@yahoo.com> |
Subject: Re: Seeking Rapper
To: "Alan Rossdeutcher" <xxxx@msn.com>

Alan,

I understand your skepticism. Vanilla Ice blindsided us with his phony entry into the competition and we apologize for him. The Shizzy Records website offline but just temporarily until we pay the phone bill. Fucking collection agents! Anyway, the company is new but we are really coming together right now. We just got a water cooler and everyone here is excited about the new record player. I assure you that Shizzy Records is real. Don't get intimidated because of Vanilla Ice. I'm sure you can write a pirate rap a lot better than he can. If not, then I thank you for your time and wish you luck on future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Richard Callahan

Will I actually get someone to write a rap about pirates? Of course I will!

Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2003 20:01:30 +0200 (MEST)
From: "Alan Rossdeutcher" <xxxx@msn.com> |
To: "Rich Callahan" <richCallahanxxx@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: Seeking Rapper

Hello!
Here is the pirate rap. Hope you like it:

Text :
Check it out ....this is Master Alan
My great great great father was one too
People were scared about them and they laughed about you
He was a pirate they went from state to state from place to place
They fight from face to face their whole days of the life
They tried to find gold
Years later they people sold it
This is vanilla ice, my new style, during and while
You were laughing about me and thought that I’m so shy
I found a new sound kids count 5, 6, 7, 8,

Part 1:
This is Master Alan takin you to my roots
When pirates killed for gold and some boats
This is the way my grand father chose
I’m telling you about it cause I got a new flow
And I’m proud of where I come from
Pirates always have a big mouth
I’m telling you who I’m against
f.ex. the south where politicians come from
they are sitting in the parliament
and takin peoples last cents
so you see pirates in the parliament
pirates haven’t yet die
they just don’t like my great great great dad
what makes me sometimes sad that really isn’t meant cheering up
I just want ya to know that pirates haven’t yet stop
They’ve just changed in a way
But they play the same roll
But without a big show
Pirates always grow
In the past they were in the front known

Master Alan